7Reasons Youre Dreaming

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Дата публикации: 2017-10-12 05:13

There are few things more sad to me each and every single off-season than when the first Jacksonville sports radio host utters one of the following kisses of death:

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While no fellow players criticized Bennett’s refusal to join them for the anthem, I suspect at least a few of them were not thrilled by the snapshot of the towel hanging over his head.

Real Big Dumbass Writes Real Dumb Column About Michael Bennett

I’m not sure any Jags free agent has actually ever ended up playing a down. I just assume that whenever the Jags sign a free agent, they lock them in a sewer dungeon à la Melissa Leo in that Prisoners movie. It doesn’t matter if the Jags bring in a slew of free agents annually (free agents always come in slews). They will vanish. It’s magic.

Why Your Team Sucks 2017: Jacksonville Jaguars

What has always sucked: Dave Caldwell is still here! How the fuck do you let Gus Bradley go but keep the architect in charge of all this futility? They brought in Tom Coughlin but somehow forgot to can this guy…

Tom Coughlin is our coach now. Well he’s not really our coach, but he’s the GM. I mean he’s not the GM either but the coach and the GM are supposed to do exactly what he says otherwise there’s going to be some trouble. AND BY GOLLY WE’RE GONNA QUIT CODDLING THESE PLAYERS AND FRONT OFFICE NERDS. I don’t see what could possibly go wrong with this scenario, particularly when Coughlin dies of a heart attack after seeing our QB’s throwing motion for the first time.

Our quarterback has been laughing nervously every time Johnny Manziel’s alcoholism has been brought up over the last several years.

But over the three and half hours he’s competing for the Seattle Seahawks on Sundays, his ambitiously virtuous platform should be limited to the mundane matter of winning a football game.

9) This city blows donkey dick. The downtown is decrepit and any establishment there with any semblance of quality closes at 5PM. Do you like culture? Too bad, you’re not going to find it. Anything trendy that graces the city comes four years after it was cool and is usually gone within a year. I’ve lived here almost all of my life and I’m resigned to the fact that I will likely die in a place that is so much of a void that our local “North Florida Cultural Magazine” is called.. you guessed it Void Magazine. I hope they bury my bones below the intersection of I-95 and I-65 because at least I’d be on the road to a place that makes people happy.

It’s a fair compromise, no? As a citizen of a nation conceived by a protest movement strong enough to achieve independence, Bennett gets every right to voice opinions on issues unrelated to football.

Fantastic. This was the year for Jacksonville to bail on the Great Bortles Experiment. But noooooooooo. No, these guys decided to fuck this chicken yet again and roll out with a quarterback who looks exactly like Tom Coughlin’s LAST Jags quarterback does right now. The Vatican moves with more swiftness than this team. Look how old Bortles is. Even Lorde is like JESUS THAT GUY IS LYING ABOUT HIS AGE. But the disturbing oldness of Bortles is arguably his least alarming quality…