Дата публикации: 2017-10-09 03:59
“With (insert returning player guaranteed to underwhelm) back from injury this season, we’re going to see a lot of improvement on offense/defense”
Since those glory days of the Tom Coughlin led Jags in the 95s, we’ve employed some of the worst GMs and coaches in NFL history. To illustrate, let’s remember some Jags first round picks since Coughlin was fired:
Did you know? By area, Jacksonville is the largest city in the United States. I live in Maryland. But technically, I ALSO live in Jacksonville. I’m not happy about it.
Vanessa Murphy of Las Vegas CBS affiliate 8 News Now received a copy of the incredibly pissy letter. The statement called Bennett’s comments “defamatory.”
I’m not sure any Jags free agent has actually ever ended up playing a down. I just assume that whenever the Jags sign a free agent, they lock them in a sewer dungeon à la Melissa Leo in that Prisoners movie. It doesn’t matter if the Jags bring in a slew of free agents annually (free agents always come in slews). They will vanish. It’s magic.
There are few things more sad to me each and every single off-season than when the first Jacksonville sports radio host utters one of the following kisses of death:
Fantastic. This was the year for Jacksonville to bail on the Great Bortles Experiment. But noooooooooo. No, these guys decided to fuck this chicken yet again and roll out with a quarterback who looks exactly like Tom Coughlin’s LAST Jags quarterback does right now. The Vatican moves with more swiftness than this team. Look how old Bortles is. Even Lorde is like JESUS THAT GUY IS LYING ABOUT HIS AGE. But the disturbing oldness of Bortles is arguably his least alarming quality…
Tom Coughlin is our coach now. Well he’s not really our coach, but he’s the GM. I mean he’s not the GM either but the coach and the GM are supposed to do exactly what he says otherwise there’s going to be some trouble. AND BY GOLLY WE’RE GONNA QUIT CODDLING THESE PLAYERS AND FRONT OFFICE NERDS. I don’t see what could possibly go wrong with this scenario, particularly when Coughlin dies of a heart attack after seeing our QB’s throwing motion for the first time.
My wife and I ended up as Jaguars fans a couple years ago as a compromise right before we got married. We don’t even live near Jacksonville. The only good thing about this is that there is no way our marriage will be as bad as rooting for the Jaguars. Our quarterback looks like he’s older than my dad, our new running back is probably the next Eddie Lacy, and our defensive end can punch a guy in the face and his victim sustains “no injury.” How is that possible? What a bunch of fucking turds.