Дата публикации: 2017-10-11 22:08
For that, by divine intervention, pure luck or other, I dont care what you call it or what you believe in, I am very thankful that you put this out for the world and I landed on it.
Which brings me back to my main point that you should NOT choose to spend the rest of your life with someone until you KNOW they are the right person for you. This can 8767 t be done when you are wrapped up in honeymoon stage bliss, this can only be done with your head, using your heart only to choose what flaws/cons you can overlook or learn to live with, forever It takes TIME to learn the most important things about a person to decide if they 8767 re right for you.
But I 8767 m not even just talking about abusive situations: a lot of bad marriages here in Asia aren 8767 t abusive, they 8767 re just failed. Alienating. Unhappy. Some of them can be rehabilitated (it is possible, in some cases, to wind your way back from alienation, and every couple should try), but some of them really would be better off if they ended.
Very well put. I love the points that you made at the end when talking about the divorce rate, adultery, and how Disney, etc has made us think that love will always be there. My parents raised me to know that married is hard work but you don 8767 t realize how hard until you are in it and things get well boring!
Patience Is A Virtue:
Not only would couple who rush into marriage inevitable disagree on the major things, but you need to know that you 8767 re able to support yourself and your spouse before you throw a wedding.. it really doesn 8767 t make sense to have a wedding that declares not just your love but your independence from your parents, and then to move back in with mom and dad after your honeymoon
Love the text, but just about 8775 The Office”. Jim and Pam are the most beautiful example of the love you are describing in your text. If you watch the show on the last seasons, you will see that 🙂
It 8767 s not luck of the draw unless a woman is given out like a lottery. You need to know the person before you make such a HUGE commitment. That 8767 s not to blame the victim, but a lot of these huge decisions are made without the proper foreknowledge and skepticism that should be applied. I understand it 8767 s hard in those decisions, and I have made bad decisions in the past, but don 8767 t try to pass off responsibility. Both parties are to blame unless it 8767 s a forced marriage.
I would like to point out while I really enjoyed reading this, there ARE people out there who get to this point before marriage, so to say that love doesn 8767 t exist before marriage can be a bit insulting. I feel that more and more people are living together before marriage, having long engagements. My husband and I found love in our little, normal life long before we got married. Just wanted to rep the living-together-before-the-wedding folks!
Disagree. After years of living in Asia, it 8767 s become quite obvious that marriage failure is not just a 8775 Western 8776 thing brought on by romantic comedies, old books and Cosmo. It was quite clear after some time in India that arranged marriages (the ideal in the philosophy of 8766 love comes later, love is something you build 8767 ) fail just as much as Western-style love marriages. The only difference is that in those failed marriages, they often don 8767 t divorce. But not everybody can will themselves to 8766 build 8767 love with someone. Sometimes this results in a loveless shell of a marriage, sometimes it does real physical harm to the wife (the stigmatization of divorce means that a lot of women live in abusive situations rather than leave their abusers).
I do hear you out and although I belong to people who take their time when making serious decisions I realize that time isn 8767 t the most important factor here.