Дата публикации: 2017-10-11 13:09
You 8767 ll have to forgive me for making generalizations. All I was trying to say, was that with such a life changing decision, you should be using your rational brain, and not your irrational emotions. There are obviously quite a few factors required for a happy successful marriage, but marrying the person who is right for you is the biggest and most important. In the Jewish world that I know, people don 8767 t date for fun, they date with the goal of being married. They try not to let physical distractions get in the way of making a solid well-thought out decision. Before they start looking at other people, they look at themselves first and find out not who they want, but rather who they need.
Women should be treated as equals in decision making. That was not the case in traditional Asian culture although variations exist from family to family with the mother-in-law holding a surprising amount of power.
These are old concepts only small parts of the truth. The truth is that love is something that needs to be given. There is nothing to learn, only things to understand, and to see. The truth, is love.
If he would 8767 ve threw in examples of great writers or thinkers
who 8767 ve written about love (a little research for backup?), I would 8767 ve gave him more credit. His letter
gleams nothing except to reveal his ignorance about love, life, and,
like every cheesy love movie out there, to appeal to what women want to
hear. It 8767 s basically equates to the same as a woman writing about how
love is like having a three-some with her husband and some hot chick,
riding motorbikes, instability, double cheeseburgers, obeying you get the picture.
And I 8767 m going to reiterate that my whole point is that there are pros and cons to both and the ideal is finding the common ground not being locked in your community, while still being part of a tight-knit community you push and pull against.
Let 8767 s say you want to work on Wall St. in NYC and your partner wants to be a Director in . there 8767 s no way you will be able to have a home together and have a family together being together won 8767 t work literally and figuratively. Sure, you can ask your partner to be a director in NYC and your partner could ask you to work in . to try to make it work, but eventually there will be resentment because one of you gave up on a life goal to satisfy the other
I attribute the arranged marriage failures you describe in India and China to the low status of women in those countries. The men in my family respect their wives which seems to be missing from the Taiwan cases where the men find mistresses. The last anecdote isn 8767 t even related to an arranged marriage. Saying this in retrospect has no value, but the woman should have been careful in first dating that boyfriend, but more importantly her society failed in lacking a social structure to protect her from the consequences.
Amen, love is an action and a decision. The feelings are the caboose on the train. They will follow where you go, and what you focus your attention on.
There are many, many examples of exactly what you are talking about, the most often in arranged marriages or people who marry for convenience or social reasons many fall in love AFTER they are married as they learn to take care of each other and work on the marriage. People get married all the time madly in love and fall out of love. The lucky ones learn how to become good marriage partners and then find the passion returns.
Do you think the Jews loved G-d at Shavuot or were we just infatuated saying 8766 we love you 8767 with naaseh venishma but only growing to love Him after spending the last 7,555 years plus in galut?