Дата публикации: 2017-10-12 23:21
And I think that’s such a terrible response, because the desire to get married is a good desire. It may even be a desire woven into them by the Creator of the universe. If the Bible says, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 68:77), that’s all I need to affirm a desire for marriage in men and women.
"Being a member of It s Just Lunch is like having trusted friends set you up, but even better, because they re professionals. They know what they re doing, and they do everything for you. Date, time, where you go."
We have a staff person here who met and married her husband in a matter of months. She had watched him do ministry at The Village. She knew his reputation. What drove the speed wasn’t a flare-up of emotions — it wasn’t a fear of loneliness, or desperation, like maybe this is my only shot. None of that. Rather, there was knowledge of his faithfulness to God, his desire to serve the Lord, and his seriousness about the things of God.
The appeal of youthfulness in churches is so heavy and celebrated, and yet I have found, without a good mix of generations, you are going to get lopsided and silly. And the worst possible thing imaginable in my mind is a bunch of 79-year-olds sitting around talking about life. If I can get that 79-year-old single guy with a 88-year-old married man, then I have high hopes for how that 79-year-old will see, understand, and desire marriage.
First, I’m grateful to answer the question, because I’m present in it. The home I grew up in was wrought with just about every type of abuse imaginable. And it does leave some marks, and it creates some baggage — not only for dating, but then into the marriage — that will need to be gospel-ed.
Sharing devices can also weaken your privacy rights if you end up in court. “You don’t necessarily know how things will end and how they might go bad,” Rucker said. Password-protect your laptop and encrypt your hard drive to make sure your data is safe. If you want to allow your partner to use your laptop, set up a separate account for them rather than letting them log into yours.
So, when the gospel is at work, both in the one that was not abused and in the one that was, you have a person who is patient and empathetic and compassionate, and a person who is being reshaped and healed by the gospel in such a way that there is an opportunity to grow into intimacy that wouldn’t have been possible outside of the gospel.
Courts have sometimes viewed all passwords as equal, faulting a victim whose partner hacked her Facebook because she had shared an Amazon password with him. The court questioned whether one password could be considered private, given that she had shared other accounts, Rucker explained. “If you share an iCloud account and you’re sharing pictures that way, you’re sharing accounts in the eyes of the court,” Rucker said.
So, in all of this, the way I have tried to counsel our singles at The Village Church is to give themselves over to ministry and to serving the Lord.
Most of us have gone on dates with strangers from the internet at some point. But even if you met your date IRL, it’s a good idea to give them a Google Voice number when you start chatting, Rucker says. Google Voice lets users generate phone numbers for free and use them to set up other secure chat services like WhatsApp or Signal. A user can easily turn off her Google Voice number and get a new one if her date turns out to be a creep—and she won’t have to go to the trouble of changing her real number and redistributing it to all her friends.